Bachelorette Party Etiquette

June 10, 2014  |     |   0 Comment

iStock-Bachelorette PartyWedding season is alive and kicking.  A good friend of mine is getting married this August.  I recently received an invitation to her “bachelorette party.” I’m using quotation marks because this is not the traditional type of bachelorette party.  We are a group of about 8 women, gathering together in celebration of the bride-to-be and all that is holy about food and wine.  The hostess (the bestie of the bride) has arranged to have a limo pick us up and take us for a VIP wine tasting at a Niagara winery, followed by a multi-course meal at it’s restaurant. No boas, no sashes, no group t-shirts or bar hopping. But yes, alcohol will be involved – of the grape variety.

So, it got me to thinking about the rules of etiquette when it comes to being a guest at such an event – because it doesn’t matter whether the plan is to go to Vegas for the weekend, grab a round of golf, head to the spa, or go out for a nice meal together –  as a guest, the rules are all the same.  Here are the top five rules of bachelorette party etiquette to consider to ensure you enhance your relationship with the bride-to-be and stay clear of any drama:

1.  Focus on the Bride.  Remember, this party is all about her.  Not you. Her needs, wants, desires – no matter how much they may or may not make sense to you – come first. Obviously, you want to make sure that whatever you do is safe and legal – neither should be sacrificed.  But do go out of your way to make the bride-to-be feel special and the centre of attention.

2.  Money Matters.  Who pays? And for what?  Money and contribution can be a sticky subject, especially at a group event.  At a bachelorette party, each person is expected to cover her costs AND to share an equal portion in covering the costs of the bride-to-be.  In my case, for example, I will cover my cost, amongst the total cost for the 8 of us, for the limo, wine tasting, food and alcohol.  I will also contribute 1/8 to cover the costs of the bride.

3.  Easy on the Alcohol.  Moderation is key.  It’s easy to get caught up in the celebration and the moment – but pace yourself.  Too much fun, too fast, can lead to disaster!  Becoming sick, leaving early and missing out on the whole event, a horrible hangover the next day, or a fuzzy memory – disasters!  My sister suggested a strategy to me many years ago and I try to practice it any time I am at an event – if I have a glass of wine, I will follow up with a glass of water, not another glass of wine. This helps to keep me hydrated and drink responsibly (well, it works most of the time!).

4.  Social Media Sharing – Show Respect.  The way we communicate has been highly influenced by social media.  We all love to share our pictures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. to show the latest and greatest happenings in our lives.  At a bachelorette party, remember that if you are snapping photos, ask those in the picture for their approval before you post/tweet, etc. Without a doubt, there will be a photo or two that should never be shared on social media. Use your judgment and respect yourself and your friends.

5.  Dress Appropriately. What you wear to a bachelorette party will depend on where you are going and what you will be doing.  Weather and temperature will also play a part in your decision.  Your attire should be respectful first and foremost, of yourself, and then of others. If you’re not sure what to wear, ask the hostess for her opinion of what will be appropriate, or what she plans to wear.  You can also ask the bride-to-be what she plans to wear – which will ensure that you don’t upstage her.  Remember – the bachelorette party is all about honouring and celebrating her!

If you have etiquette questions or want to learn more about our services, please contact Erin Crotty, Founder & Director of BloomStra Consulting for a complimentary half-hour consultation: or 613-614-4540.

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